I Feel Unpretty But I've Won
by JasperWhiteWolf
Summary: <html><head></head>Quinn finds her way and wins more than a plastic crown</html>


She wanted a nose job. This was your chance. Suddenly, you saw something there. Something you needed to help her with. You could relate, after all. Hand shooting up to run a finger down the bridge of your nose, almost as if you could feel the bandage laying across hers. Her face when she sat down, so disheartened when her eyes met yours, nearly broke your heart. Though you can't really process why when you have to get up.

Then she's there. Right in front of you and god she's so close. For some reason your head feels fuzzy and your heart speeds as she reaches a hand out to place it on your forearm. All you can think is you wish she would do it more often. Still, it's not important why because she wants you to go with her. She wants you to be her muse so to speak. Of course you agree. Lately, you could never say no to the small brunette.

The doctors office seems less welcoming, somehow you know deep down this isn't what she needs. Then her eyes meet yours, so broken yet hopeful, and you know you have to do this. Know that you are the only one who gets this and, no matter what, you'll help her. Walking out of the office, inspiration seems to hit you both at the same time as she asks you to sing with her just as you say you have a song in mind for you both. The laugh that comes from her is something contagious and you want to make it happen more often.

Sitting on those stools as the band starts up, you're reminded of when Brittany and Santana sang Landslide together. The looks they gave each other. You're giving her those looks, reassuring her when she looks at you while staring every few notes when she doesn't notice. Realization smacks you in the face when she looks at you, almost crying, and she has the same look in her eyes you know are in yours. The same feeling thats crashing against your heart like a tidal wave.

You both sit there just a moment longer than needed but it doesn't register until the applause reaches your ears and you have to break the stare. Taking a deep breath, you know you have to just go about your day. It all comes crashing down, everything you've worked for, when Lauren puts your old picture up. Running into the bathroom crying, you hadn't expected to see her there. Looking at the bruising that was fading under her eyes.

She looks at you, worry and something deeper showing through her gaze, and suddenly you're safe. Her arms wrap tightly around you as you hide into the crook of your neck and that feeling of contentment settles in. You realize you never want to leave this warmth that blossoms through you. Her hands are moving softly against your lower back as she whispers sweet things in your ear and you nearly melt.

Looking back at those moments, you know now that she can't get that procedure. She just can't. Then Finn has to come and just reaffirm your thoughts. Kissing him though, feels wrong. Feels off. There's no spark or stars, just the pressure from his lips against yours. You can't help but long for another and the fear hits you hard.

Suddenly, you really do feel for what Santana is going through. Still, when she walks in and announces she won't be getting the nose job, the sigh that escapes you while that smile forms is so relieved you don't even care to be terrified. Terrified of how your skin heats when she's around, your heart speeds up, how all you want is to be in her arms again.

It's been a week. A long week since that happened and you've both been making efforts to talk to each other. It's like dancing a tango in the halls, you realize. It's not until you look Finn in the eyes and see hers staring back at you that you realize you have to have her. This whole pretending thing, Santana may be able to keep it up to an extent, but you can't. You see it ripping her apart and you just got to that point again. The point where you don't feel like dying.

So after that long week, you tell Finn you can't be together anymore. Right in front of her. He storms off, angry and childish. You shake your head and turn to her with a soft smile, something she returns before wrapping you in a tight hug. You do melt this time. This time, though, you don't let go.

Standing on that stage, crown sitting atop your head, you feel happy and proud beyond belief. Not because you won though, it's odd but it's not because of the win. You're so happy because you learned. She helped you learn and now you like yourself. You're proud because she's standing there, right next to you, with her own crown. You both won. Not because you campaigned together and not because you wanted to be something you weren't. Because you were proud to be gay with Rachel Berry. You won because you are helping others now and as she leans over to press a kiss to your cheek, you realize that even without the crown... You've won the best prize of all. You've won her.


End file.
